It won’t always be like this. The quick words that have to be said between eager little voices desperately wanting to be heard, lending helping hands, or meltdowns. Those stories, ideas, or thoughts you want to share are very frequently drowned out by the needs of little ones.
But it won’t always be like this.
Parenthood is a selfless journey. Try as you might to address your own needs, the truth is that your kids are your priority. I’m sure we’ve all given our kids food off our own plates, even though we haven’t yet gotten the chance to take a bite ourselves. When our kids reach a point where they are too exhausted or overstimulated, we drop what we are doing to take care of their needs.
Just the other day I had to interrupt a conversation and tell my husband, “We need to get the kids settled”. We had been trying to talk with guests, but it was evident the kids were tired and feeling big feelings – so we stopped what we were doing and began the usual bedtime routine.
Here comes the toughest part of parenthood: amongst all this dependence, we find ourselves struggling to fulfill our other roles – being a sister, brother, daughter, son, friend, cousin, aunt, uncle, and the list goes on.
If someone were to stop me on the street today and ask me who I am, I would most likely begin with “I’m a mom.” That’s just where I’m at in my life right now – I’m in the season of raising littles. But there are other roles that mold us into who we are. It’s just so very hard to put your whole heart into every one of them when you are in a season like this.
Someone recently asked me what the main challenge of being a mom is right now, and this is what I described to them:
“It’s not the lack of sleep, it’s not about the feeding and naptime schedules – it’s the reoccurring feeling that I am stretching myself thin. It’s feeling like you’re not being the best wife, daughter, sister, and friend. Because I am all of those things. But my kids are little right now and they need me. They require a lot of me. So, to everyone who is listening, please know that I am here, I am thinking of you, and you matter to me.”
-Laura Bentley
That’s what I would like to say to everyone in my life right now. I am very aware that I have not spent time with my friends without frequently being pulled away from a conversation. I have often not visited friends and family who live far away because of the amount of preparation it requires. And I have not gone on a date with my husband in far too long.
My constant battle to appease all these roles is cumbersome. Time and again I am left feeling like I am losing those who are close to me because I cannot be there for them. Try as I might, I cannot be all of myself at once. At least not now. Right now, my babies require most of me.
I write this because I’m sure I am not the only parent who feels this way. If you are not in the same season as I am right now, please know that someone close to you may be. If you haven’t heard from them lately or haven’t been able to meet up, please know that they have not forgotten about you.
It won’t always be like this, but we do the best we can in whatever roles we fill. Life brings many different stages, so just because we may feel like we’re stuck in a rut at the moment doesn’t mean we should give up on what matters to us.
To all those reading this, please don’t give up on me because I’m certainly not giving up on us.
