Why Lowering the Bar for Myself Was the Best Decision

I had to learn how to stay home with my kids. I’ve stayed home through two extended maternity leaves, but leaving my full-time job and staying home with my 2-year-old and 1-year-old has been a learning curve.

I thought that one of the benefits of being a stay-at-home mom would be that I’d have the time to tend to household chores like cooking and cleaning on a daily basis. I’d be able to do those little tasks that are always on our to-do list like touching up the nicks on the baseboards and finding a home for all the craft supplies that have piled up on the same shelf in the office.

This to-do list has barely been touched since I’ve been home.

There are weeks when I cannot keep up with the house cleaning. Oftentimes, I am running to get dinner started as my husband sends me his very helpful “On my way” text as he leaves the office.

When I leaped into the world of a stay-at-home mom, I quickly felt myself fall into the role of a homemaker. In many ways, I do fall into this role, as I spend most of my day cleaning and cooking. But there’s an important factor in the reasoning behind this – my kids.

Related: “How My 2-Year-Old Changed My Perspective One Morning“

There is much more to clean these days because my kids are home and I choose to set aside time to cook more breakfasts and snacks for my kids.

My kids are the reason I am home. It’s not so that the house can stay clean or so the yard can always be tended to and kept looking beautiful. It’s been quite the opposite.

I’m a stay-at-home mom. Dinner isn’t always ready on time. The house isn’t always clean and tidy and the laundry sometimes sits on our dresser for days before it gets folded. Things on our to-do list take months to get checked off and I make it to the grocery store just in time to restock my kids’ milk.

Related: “How To Keep Your Home Clean And Your Weekends Free“

Yes, I stay home every day, but my priority is my kids. I’m there to guide them through their meltdowns, I’m there to coach them through sibling conflicts, and I’m there to hold them when they need comfort. I’m a stay-at-home mom.

I very quickly forgave myself for not having the table set and dinner ready when my husband got home or for having the kitchen and living room look like a toy bomb just went off. My husband never expects me to have everything put together for when he gets home – he welcomes any chaos he walks into. This expectation was something I had in my head, and it didn’t take long for me to dismiss it.

Our house is lived in throughout the day. There are many different types of play going on – my kids are playing independently, playing together, and sometimes I join in, too. There are big emotions felt very often, as my kids are young and just learning how to understand themselves and the world. All these things require my time and patience, which is what I try to give them every single day. I’m not here to keep the sink empty or to make sure the trash gets taken out when it gets full. Believe me, I can squeeze a diaper into the corner of any trash can and make it fit. I’m here to care, teach, and love my kids.

I’m still learning every day how to be a better stay-at-home mom, but lowering the bar for myself has been the best thing I’ve done for my kids and myself.

Related: “Why I Now Find Value In Slowing Down“