Dear Mamas, You Are Not Alone

Today was a tough one. However, reflecting back on the day, there weren’t more temper tantrums than usual and my kids weren’t any more tired than they usually are.

It was me.

I was having a tough day. I hadn’t left the house in 2 days except for bringing my toddler into the yard to swing and play. I find that I sometimes need to leave the house to reset. Even if we don’t have any necessary errands to run, I try to get the kids in the car and take them somewhere.

I was able to get both girls down for a nap and was thankful for the quiet alone time I had. Before I knew it, I heard my toddler’s voice saying “Mama, mama” from her room. That was my cue.

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The life of a mom is busy, to say the least. We’re constantly being stretched thin and somehow we just keep going. It’s in our nature.

When I hear my toddler calling my name, or my baby whining for me, I get this feeling that I can’t ignore. I know it’s okay to give yourself a minute instead of jumping to their every need as long as they are safe, but it’s not easy for me to do.

Today was tough because I felt like a slave to them. That sounds so awful to say. My toddler wanted (demanded) more milk at lunchtime, so I got her more milk while my baby shrieked because I stepped away from spooning food into her mouth. All while keeping my cool and trying to set a good example for both of them. Instead of yelling at them to wait, I took deep breaths and said “How do you ask for more milk?” to my toddler and “I’ll be right back, hunny” to my baby.

Keeping your cool is hard and takes a toll on you. If you lose your cool, the amount of guilt you feel is tremendous. Either way, you are being tested every second of the day.

It was lunchtime when I felt like crying for the third time that morning. I had not eaten anything since breakfast, which consisted of eating my toddler’s half-eaten breakfast bar. My toddler had just finished her lunch and began climbing on the chair I was sitting on as I spoon-fed my baby. Instead of losing my patience and telling her to get down, I picked her up and put her on my lap.

My toddler sweetly asked if she could feed the baby. She has never done this or asked to do this, so I let her. I didn’t care about the mess appearing on my baby’s outfit or the amount of pureed carrots and apples piling up on her chin. It was a beautiful moment of peace.

I think as moms we are given these brief moments for a reason. They’re little breaks in the day that remind us that those tough times are worth it. Even though they stretch us (very) thin, our kids need, want, and love us. They need our patience and grace and it’s up to us to do our best to give it to them.

Don’t get me wrong, we need our own time, too. Otherwise, it would be nearly impossible to give everything we can to our kids.

These few minutes we had at lunchtime saved me today. It filled my heart to see my toddler loving and taking care of my baby. Even though it didn’t feel like I was giving it my all today, I saw what a good heart my toddler had and that made me proud.

We can’t forget that kids are still learning about the world and all its experiences. This, along with their feelings, is a lot for little minds. Try to remind yourself of this when they are frustrating you.

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So, to all the moms out there, you’re not alone. I feel the anger, frustration, and utter exhaustion you experience, but I also feel the tenderness, devotion, and love we have.

Today was a tough one. Tomorrow is a new day. Let’s start over, wake up with a fresh mindset, and let’s have some fun with our kids.

On my agenda for tomorrow: dancing around the living room with my kids.