This idea started when I was pregnant with my second baby. Our mornings were busy with trying to get our toddler ready for the day and I felt enormous and exhausted. Every morning I found myself giving my toddler the same five or six choices for breakfast, and one day I decided to try asking her to make her own decision. I wasn’t sure if this would be a big challenge for her since she was just shy of 18 months old. Every child is different, but my daughter could handle it!
For breakfast and snack times, I would take her to the pantry with me, and together, we would hand-pick what she wanted. This new skill brought on its own challenge – understanding what foods were appropriate for certain meals or times of the day. As I anticipated would happen, one morning my daughter saw the little packs of Goldfish in the pantry and asked if she could have one for breakfast. Absolutely no judgment here – if your child eats Goldfish for breakfast because they won’t eat anything else – that’s cool with me!
I showed her where the breakfast foods were in the pantry so she would remember where to look the next morning. I did the same thing for snack time that day.
One of the things I have learned since having kids is to never doubt them and to challenge them whenever it feels right. I’m glad I challenged my daughter in this way because she quickly learned what food choices were appropriate for the different times of day, and she really didn’t argue about it with me.
She did so well with this that I put all her snacks on the bottom shelf of the pantry for her to be able to access. Now, my daughter opens the pantry door and makes her own selection for breakfast and snack time. She knows she is not allowed to get a snack without asking first (this is just our own rule) and I always check to make sure she makes a good choice.
When setting this up, I hesitated to add special treats, like cookies, on her shelf. However, I went for it! After all, wasn’t I trying to teach her how to make healthy choices? Having these treats right in front of her normalizes them and teaches her self-control.
This works so well in our house that I even put her plates, bowls, bibs, cups, and utensils in a bottom cabinet in the kitchen. She helps me set the table by getting her own things. I also avoid the occasional back-and-forth “No, the green plate, mama!” that we used to have because she’s making her own choices.
There are times when we do have to make the choice together if she’s not making a good decision, but I would say that 95% of the time she is able to make all these choices on her own. All of this is also SO helpful now with my second baby since I’m juggling more tasks at mealtimes. It’s a win for all of us!
