When does the excitement of marriage start to fizzle? Maybe it doesn’t for some people, but I don’t think I’m alone when I say that your daily average life becomes monotonous and almost boring after being together for some time.
My husband and I are high school sweethearts (cue the “awws”). That means we’ve been together for a long time. We’ve been in a relationship for 16 years. That’s more than half of our lives.
I can honestly say I love my husband more than anything. I loved him in high school and I love him now. Seeing him become a dad has made me fall in love with him all over again.
But our days are routine and we prioritize our kids and home before our marriage.
Not only do I want to continue to have a happy marriage, but I also want my kids to grow up with happily married parents. Not all kids are lucky enough to experience this bond between their parents, and I want to make sure our kids do.
I grew up seeing my parents holding hands, and I want the same for my kids.
So, my husband and I actively try to set time aside for us. It’s not easy, and we don’t always succeed, but we try. Let me share with you what we do.
How it works
We plan surprises for each other! We take turns planning dates for one another and keep it a secret until we arrive at our destination.
For example, if it’s my turn to plan a surprise date, I will make the arrangements and pick a time and day. I’ll tell my husband when we are going on our date, but that’s all the information I will give him.
On the day of the date, I’ll drive him to the location and let him try to figure out where we are going. I won’t reveal the surprise until we get there.
Mark it in your calendar
When we plan a surprise date for one another, we’ll add the event to our calendar. This way, we can plan around it and make sure we set aside that time for ourselves.
We plan a surprise date for each month. I’ll plan it for one month, then my husband will plan the next, and so on. This totals out to 6 ideas each every year – totally doable!
Surprise date ideas
We have come up with some great ideas! These can vary greatly depending on your location, but hopefully, they’ll at least give you inspiration for your surprise dates.
Remember that they don’t all have to be over the top and extravagant. Sometimes, you can plan a nice evening out at a new restaurant or go out for drinks at a new venue. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy as long as you are both spending time with each other (and preferably getting out of the house).
1. Speakeasy
I took my husband to a speakeasy for dinner. I always joke about how my husband should have been born in the 1900s, so this was right up his alley. The venue was disguised as a used bookstore, which left my husband questioning what this night would entail. He was even more confused when I knocked on the door and someone answered by sliding open a little peephole and answering with a code word. As a bonus, the food and drinks were delicious.
2. AXE throwing
I took my husband AXE throwing! This was so much fun and so different from anything we had ever done. They taught us how to properly throw an axe and how to hit our target. They even had us play against other players for some added competition.
3. Wine tasting
My husband took me to a wine tasting for one of our surprise dates. It’s especially nice if you pick a day with good weather so you can walk around the vineyards.
4. Cocktails
We’ve gone out for cocktails at a new bar. Pick a venue with a friendly atmosphere or a place that you have fond memories of, like where you went on your first date or a bar close to where you got married.
5. Live music
Check to see if there are any local bars or restaurants in your area that have live music. Sometimes these can be local bands or singers that showcase their songs. You can add on some drinks, appetizers, or even a meal as you listen.
6. Concert
It doesn’t have to be their favorite singer or band, as long as it’s a genre your partner enjoys, they’ll have a good time. You can even tack on a meal before or after the event.
7. Sporting event
Take them to a sporting event. Again, even if it’s not a sport they typically watch, the idea is to experience something new together.
8. Pottery class
Find a beginner’s pottery class and learn a new skill together. Even if you never do it again, you’ll share some laughs and always have a memorable date to look back on.
9. Take an art class
You can sign up for a beginner’s painting or sketching class. Another fun way to let out your creative side.
10. Brunch
This one is simple, but it still might be something you don’t do often together!
11. Dinner on a boat
There are lots of brunch, lunch, or dinner cruises that are offered in different locations.
12. Sunset cruise
If you live close to the ocean, you can book a sunset cruise.
13. Dance class
Sign up for a beginner’s dance class! You can even learn a dance to a song of your choice (hint, hint: your wedding dance or a song you listened to together when you first met).
14. Hot air balloon ride
Find a location near you that offers hot air balloon rides. Make sure your partner does okay with heights!
15. Rock climbing/gym class
Whether you’ve been rock climbing or bouldering before or not, this can be a great way to disconnect from your daily routine. Along the same lines, you could surprise your husband or wife with a fun gym class like Zumba or kickboxing.
16. Skydiving
If you and your partner are adventurous, take them skydiving! You might want to give them a couple of clues on the way to this event if you think they’ll need a little heads-up. I surprised my husband with this experience and he loved it, but we had already gone once before so I knew he would be game to do it again. Although, we jumped from even higher the second time!
17. Paintball
Another adventurous and active surprise date.
18. Cooking class
Sign up for a couple’s cooking class. This one can also be useful in your kitchen!
19. Bartending course
I love new experiences where you and your partner can learn something new together. Sometimes you can be amazed at what hidden skills or talents one of you may have. A bartending course can also prove to be useful when making cocktails for each other at home!
20. Message/Spa
Treat yourselves to a relaxing afternoon or entire day. This is something that every couple could use every once in a while.
To sum it up
Whatever date you plan on taking your partner on, and whether or not you choose to make it a surprise, the most important thing is to spend time together. And no, I’m not referring to the times you spend in the car driving your kids to places, or the times you spend getting things done around the house. I mean quality alone time where you are simply enjoying each other’s company without accomplishing any tasks on your to-do list.
Your relationship with your spouse or significant other is so vital, so continue to strengthen it by giving yourselves some time.
Related: “Why It’s Okay to Go to Bed Angry“
