I was talking to another mom at the park the other day while her child waited for my daughter to finish her turn on the zipline. She told me she has always considered herself to be a patient person but that becoming a mom has made her question her level of patience.
This made me think about everything we do throughout the day as parents. We’re teaching our children everything – kindness, resilience, courage, the list goes on. Most importantly, we’re modeling these characteristics.
This means we have to be the best version of ourselves. This is hard. And it takes patience.
We need patience when our child wants to climb into the car seat on their own. We need patience when they throw something only to tell you right away that they want it. We need patience when they don’t want to put their shoes on before leaving the house.
Part of you wants to reason with them and say “The longer you take to put your shoes on the less time we’ll have at the park” or “They only take a second to put on”. But you refrain and use simple language to calmly say, “We put our shoes on first, then we go to the park”.
The way we phrase things and the tone of voice we use makes a huge difference.
Hearing demands and directions all day is frustrating, especially when you may not always know how to ask for help. That’s why we need patience. Kids need help, support, and guidance, and the best way to provide these things is with this powerful tool.
“Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.” – Oxford Languages
This means that through all our kids’ (seemingly ridiculous) demands, reasonings, and actions, we must stay calm. We accept whatever is thrown our way and we respond with grace.
I like to think of it this way: if you have patience for yourself, it will trickle to your kids.
When your child is experiencing big feelings and you respond calmly, they are more likely to calm down.
We’ve all lost our patience with our kids at some point. It’s been a tough day and that one little thing they do (or don’t do) just pushes you over the edge and you lose it. You yell or throw something and then realize how much worse you feel after having done that. And then you see your child shut down or worse – do the same.
These moments happen to the best of us. We’re only human and we can only keep so much bottled up. As parents, we have to find ways to relieve this anxiety and overstimulation, not just for us, but for our kids, too.
It starts with us. Since becoming a stay-at-home mom, I’ve realized that the best days are the ones where I have the most patience. If I’m having a bad day, my kids tend to have a bad day, too.
That’s so much pressure on parents.
But my kids encourage me to change my perspective on those not-so-great days. I take a step back from the chores, force myself to focus on the good, and engage with my kids.
We’re raising little humans with big feelings. Although it’s okay for them to see us occasionally having bad days, it’s equally important for them to see us change our perspective and have patience.
So, to all parents and caregivers, pause and reset. What we do is far from easy, but it’s so incredibly worth it.
Related: My Reasons For Embracing Half-Full Cold Coffee Mugs
