To all Parents, It’s All Because of You

As my kids and I headed upstairs for their nap, I began reflecting on our morning.

I reminded my 2-year-old about her interactions with new people at storytime. Her response was: “I’m so proud of myself. I was so brave.”

Kids mirror what others say or do. They spend a large majority of their time at school (if they are school-aged) and with friends and family. Amongst all of these people, the ones who have the most influence on kids are their parents.

My daughter said those words because I say them. She hears my positive affirmations and she learns from them. She not only learns new vocabulary and phrases, but she also learns self-confidence and self-love.

I have never been one to say lovey-dovey and sentimental things out loud, but my language has changed since becoming a mom.

I now say things like, “It was so tricky but you didn’t give up” and “Your hugs make my heart so happy”.

You must be rolling your eyes right now as you read these sappy things I say to my kids, but the truth is that they need to hear it. They’re still understanding how the world works and how to describe emotions, so they need to hear this language said out loud.

We are their role models and number one influence. They will use the language we use and they will use the gestures we use. So we have to be the best version of ourselves.

I’ll be the first to admit that it is not always easy to do this. There are so many times when I get frustrated and just want to yell and lose my patience, but I hold back. I hold back for my kids. I try my best to react in the way I would like my kids to react. And believe it or not – it helps me, too.

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When my baby drops her bottle for what seems like the hundredth time, I choose to lightheartedly say, “Oh, no! You dropped your bottle. Let me help you,” and I pick up her bottle and hand it to her.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve caught my daughter saying these exact words to my baby when she drops her bottle. And listen to this – she uses the same lighthearted tone that I use.

We’re the heart of our kids’ actions and we’re the roots of their language.

Becoming a mom has changed my perspective on a lot of things. When I hear a child saying “Here, you can have a turn” without any prompting, or when I see a child picking something up for someone without being asked, I compliment the child, but I also compliment their parents.

It’s because of their positive role models that children learn these traits.

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So, to all parents – keep setting the example. Teach your kids kindness by being kind to everyone including yourself. Teach them how to cope with emotions by demonstrating how you cope with your own emotions. And teach them positive affirmations by using positive language.

I could hear the pride in my daughter’s voice as she climbed upstairs to her room. I wasn’t just proud of her for being brave that morning, I was also proud of her for recognizing it and vocalizing it.

To all parents, it’s all because of you.