We all have days when we’re left feeling thankful and wholesome, and then there are days when we question what we’re doing.
Having worked with kids in the classroom for years, and now being a mom to two little ones, I can honestly say that kids have a tendency to make days very variable. Chaos naturally arises as kids test boundaries, explore, and make sense of their feelings. As little (and sometimes not-so-little) humans try to make sense of the world around them, we can be assured that things will unexpectedly be thrown our way every so often.
With all the stress and overstimulation, parents are left feeling worn out and stretched thin at the end of the day. Finding ways to destress and re-energize is key to keeping your cool during unwarranted situations.
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As both a teacher and a mom, I can positively say that the best days are days when I, am feeling good. My kids have better days when I feel strong, open-minded, and patient. When my kids experience big feelings, I am there to respond with grace. When those moments of complete chaos arise, I am able to keep calm and respond accordingly. These are the days that leave us feeling satisfied at the end of the day.
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I’ve always struggled with self-care. I constantly put my kids and our home before my own needs because I find comfort in knowing everything around me is taken care of. But being a mom has changed my perspective. Even though I continue to put my own needs last, I do recognize that I have to be in the right mindset in order to be the best mom for my kids.
Although I may not spend time making my hair look presentable or updating my wardrobe as often as I should, I do practice taking deep breaths, playing music to encourage whatever mood I need to be in, and finding ways to create quiet moments throughout our day. Being mindful of how important it is to do these things has made me a better mom. These simple acts allow me to find peace in things that are thrown in my direction.
But I am not perfect. There are times when I lose my cool and wish I had responded differently. I learn from these moments so I can do better the next time I am in a similar situation.
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Everyone copes with stress differently. Whether it’s exercising, cooking, or reading, there are activities that you can do to give yourself some disconnected time off from your everyday anxieties. What I find most challenging is learning to remain calm when you are in the thick of it. It’s when both kids need you at the same time, and they’re whining, but aren’t listening. Or when you’re trying to leave the house but your toddler won’t use the bathroom or put their shoes on and your baby keeps walking away from you while taking out toys that you’ve already put away, all while you have to be in the car in the next two minutes if you even want a chance to make it home before lunchtime.
These are the moments that make your heart pound and anxiety soar. It’s in these moments that people, myself very much included, find it the hardest to self-regulate.
After reflecting on these moments, I’ve found it helpful to take deep breaths (and even encourage my kids to join me) and solve one “problem” at a time. We prioritize what we need to do, do it in that order, and do the best we can while meeting everyone’s needs and honoring everyone’s feelings.
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It all starts and ends with you. It’s a heck of a role to have – where your own feelings, emotions, and state of mind have such a strong effect on others. Parenting isn’t supposed to be easy. Nothing that’s important and impactful is. And it’s okay to not be okay sometimes – it’s important for our kids to see this part of life, as well.
This is why we take those deep breaths and count to 10 (or 20). We do it so we can lay the foundation for our kids. We self-regulate and are mindful of our mindset so we can embody peace.
Because we have the power to make it an amazing day.
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