I dislike the adjective “shy”.
Maybe it’s because I’m a shy person and used to be painfully shy when I was young, or perhaps it’s because it tends to limit or label a person as soon as they are described as “shy”.
I won’t describe my 2-year-old daughter as shy, but I will say she takes some time to open up.
I don’t view this quality as negative. My daughter and I like getting to know people or studying situations before we let our guard down. Being a quiet observer has many positive traits.
However, being introverted can be harmful if it causes anxiety or stress.
My husband and I have worked on reducing this stress for my daughter and her hard work is paying off.
My daughter would freeze up anytime someone said something to her. This included strangers, family friends, and even aunts. You could see the discomfort she felt when someone acknowledged her and it pained us to see her go through this.
Fast forward to the present day.
My two girls and I were at our local library. My 2-year-old was working on a craft at a table where there was another 2-year-old and her mom. As I conversed with the other mom, she turned to my daughter and asked her how old she was.
I always hold my breath during these moments because I wait to see how my daughter responds. I always give her time to speak for herself.
To my amazement, my daughter looked up from her craft, made eye contact with the mom, and said “I’m 2 and a half”.
The word proud doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt.
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I praised her for her success because I wanted her to know that I recognized how hard that may have been for her.
There’s nothing wrong with being “shy”, but I never want to let this quality get in the way of my daughter being successful. I never want it to cause her anxiety.
So we work on it. Just like I’m still working on it.
I’ll always be there to provide support for my daughter, but I believe the goal for a parent is to raise their children in a way where they can fend for themselves. Gaining this level of independence varies so much from child to child, but my point is that children can go so far in life if they realize they can do things on their own.
I’ll always be there to provide support for my daughter, but I don’t want her to always need me.
Related: It’s In The Smallest Leaps That You Will See Growth
My daughter didn’t need me at the library that day. She didn’t need me to answer for her. She didn’t even have to look at me before making eye contact with the stranger. She knew I was there, but she handled it on her own.
It’s these little leaps that remind us to keep working. No matter what your child is working on, know that they will amaze you. It may be in the simplest way, but they will amaze you.
